Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Short White Plays: 'Coon on a stick

Art: We gots a stove but the conector is wrong. we gotsta haul in a kinda adapter fir the dang contraption.

Steve: Shucks cain't ya just put yer one finger in the one socket.... and yer other finger in the other socket.... and then start yer cookin'?

Art: I never thunk it laak thaiet. Ima gonna give it go i rekon.
Steve: Shee-it. Whuts that smell?
Frank: Sheeeit... Ah thot ah rekonized that there smell... That's whut cuzin zeek smeled laak wen he rode the litenin over at Singsing...
Steve: Dang. You got that right Frankie. I'll lick a bison's balls if that don't smell just like that time we done cooked racoon on a stick.
Art: I laaked that there racoon thaeit yas done cooked.
Frank: 'coon on a stik shur dus giv yoo the gas tho.....
Steve: I reckon you musta stuck yer 'coon on the wrong way there son. You start nibblin' on the butt and you sure as shee-it gonna get gas. Grampa John-Boy-Bob-Billy always told us.

Art: Weeeell aint that sumthin - he be maa grampa too like!
Steve: Art-Bob.... is that you! Hey Frank-Bob!...... It's Art-Bob!!!!! He's alive!!! Shee-it.... When that 'gator dragged you off by the balls, I thought fir sure you was a gonner.

Artur: Yup, i almost done was been a goner firshir!But what i deed wuz gave that there gator a fat keeeeus on them there lips then stuck muh smith n wesson up the nostril laak and blew the gator bastards brain clean outta them there head n all.

Had some belle leek muh wounds like then 7 days later we done gotten married

She left me
Steve: Yeah well... cousin Belle sure does like to move around some. Shee-it.... spit.... Art-Bob it sure is good to know yer still alive. Does that mean yer wants yer banjo back?
Art: Nah, i gots a drumkit now, speekin of witch, see ya at the camp later some.

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